Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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