in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
