until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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