I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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