TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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