guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
