so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
