Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
