It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
