So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
