I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
