The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dick very happy bro
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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