Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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