My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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