My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
