It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
