i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize