I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize