I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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