do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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