bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
