I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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