why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
