Where is the hickey?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize