i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
