the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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