Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
