Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
