Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
