wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
