so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
