i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
