so that wasnt chicken after all
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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