Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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