i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
