Define "chronic" masturbator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
