The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize