just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
