I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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