Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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