I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
