what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
