Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
