i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
