So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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