everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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