I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
