i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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