Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize