Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
