Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
no, he came in my armpit
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
