If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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