hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
