my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize