THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
