Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
