he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
