More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
