Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
