you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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